UN-LOVE THEE?
Sitting alone on a bus home, the most random thought came over me. When you’ve UN-loved a person and you sleep on one bed, you no longer feel the urge to be in a dermis-to-dermis contact with them. Even if for the longest time all your body knew was his smell, the texture of his skin, and the little breaths that you feel on your forehead almost every night.
Everything in this world has a thin line in-between relationship, friendly or romantic. And it’s always hard to go back to either disposition after you’ve crossed the line. It’s always awkward and weird. Either ways that each one of us has trespassed, disappointment and hurt feelings will always be the collateral damage for both parties. Always, each party has a different version and understanding of the situation. But either way, neither of both parties has greater pain. Everybody hurts all the same, but like fingerprints, no pain is the same. People just have different ways of experiencing and dealing with theirs.
A few months back, all I ever wished for was to be in his ‘nook’ every morning. To feel his arms around me everytime I wake up in the middle of the night. After everything that happened and took place, and after some nights spent with him without any commitment nor expectations, the farther I am from him when I wake up in the middle of the night, and even when I wake up in the morning—I’ll be on the opposite side of the bed. I preferred to be on MY space/side.
Do these actions come with the boundaries after the break-up? Personally, I don’t think so. My hypotheses: These said actions are sub-unconsciously formulated and acted out by our brain and our heart, like a withdrawal symptom for the addicted. As moving on gradually proceeds, the more the body repels the opposite being, flushing out the toxins that inhibited the system for a long period. Yes, you may still know his smell, the texture of his skin or even his very footfall, but it’s never the same. I call this, the process of UN-loving.
But, of course, there will always be slidebacks, minor and major ones. Just last night, after having a CSI marathon, I couldn’t sleep afterwards. The more the weather teased me. Cold winds, rain, crickets, and a playlist in my ipod specifically for ‘those’ times. Unfortunately, my brain and my heart already created an anti-self pity/depression strategy: after every good memory, a bad one would follow. It will always be your choice to either move on or wallow in whatever negative emotional stress you prefer of maybe even a buffet of that. The latter is always a good choice.
There’s no point crying over spilt milk. As what I would tell my friends, move on. There will always be better (fill name here)’s that you’re going to meet. Or maybe even a whole new name that you can fill on these line: (fill name here) is my one true love. (You can explain and expound here if you like)
Everything in this world has a thin line in-between relationship, friendly or romantic. And it’s always hard to go back to either disposition after you’ve crossed the line. It’s always awkward and weird. Either ways that each one of us has trespassed, disappointment and hurt feelings will always be the collateral damage for both parties. Always, each party has a different version and understanding of the situation. But either way, neither of both parties has greater pain. Everybody hurts all the same, but like fingerprints, no pain is the same. People just have different ways of experiencing and dealing with theirs.
A few months back, all I ever wished for was to be in his ‘nook’ every morning. To feel his arms around me everytime I wake up in the middle of the night. After everything that happened and took place, and after some nights spent with him without any commitment nor expectations, the farther I am from him when I wake up in the middle of the night, and even when I wake up in the morning—I’ll be on the opposite side of the bed. I preferred to be on MY space/side.
Do these actions come with the boundaries after the break-up? Personally, I don’t think so. My hypotheses: These said actions are sub-unconsciously formulated and acted out by our brain and our heart, like a withdrawal symptom for the addicted. As moving on gradually proceeds, the more the body repels the opposite being, flushing out the toxins that inhibited the system for a long period. Yes, you may still know his smell, the texture of his skin or even his very footfall, but it’s never the same. I call this, the process of UN-loving.
But, of course, there will always be slidebacks, minor and major ones. Just last night, after having a CSI marathon, I couldn’t sleep afterwards. The more the weather teased me. Cold winds, rain, crickets, and a playlist in my ipod specifically for ‘those’ times. Unfortunately, my brain and my heart already created an anti-self pity/depression strategy: after every good memory, a bad one would follow. It will always be your choice to either move on or wallow in whatever negative emotional stress you prefer of maybe even a buffet of that. The latter is always a good choice.
There’s no point crying over spilt milk. As what I would tell my friends, move on. There will always be better (fill name here)’s that you’re going to meet. Or maybe even a whole new name that you can fill on these line: (fill name here) is my one true love. (You can explain and expound here if you like)
posted by Biankeeta at 5:12 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home