PISSED OFF AND F*CKED UP

I'm on the verge of a major breakdown.

It could be the time of year that burn-out is just a stone-throw away (like my mind is, literally!). At the moment, I feel like a fish displaced out of the water--squirming, fighting for my dear life! Odd why I used the fish allegory when I don't even like fish.

Moving forward, I feel like the rest of the crowds are buzzing and speeding away and I abruptly stop and watch them slowly turn into a mirage.

Yesterday, my TM (glorified babysitter) decided to piss me off--all hell broke loose! Let's call him MEMA (MEMA-gawa). So, story is, I got all these little love letters from the management--nothing serious, just workstuff and I got 3 of them in a week alone! I, being a control-freak and an introvert, was fighting with myself on what to do. Eventually, I got frustrated and stressed out. I asked for a day-off to figure things out, absorb everything. MEMA just said, you have to be at work. I told him 'I'm on the brink of submitting an immediate resignation,' connoting that its because of all the stress I've been experiencing--mind you, its not about the lil' love letters, it was just me trying to cope. You know what Mema said to me? 'ok, come in and bring your letter.' This made my forehead wrinkle in all diffrent lines, my head started to feel hot (literally!)!

What an insensitive little prick! Here you have obviously a unmotivated, demoralized and unappreciated employee and you give that crappy statement?! I wanted to strangle him, call him and shout at him. But the grace and poise within me decided that I handle it in a formal or legal way. Besides, I didn't want to waste my plan minutes with the fool, sky-high na celphone bill ko!

I emailed my Area Manager. I deserve to be heard.

p.s. meh mga issues din ako against MEMA before pa, but I thought before that it was all fun and play...UNTIL I GET HURT. Too bad.