3AM

Its almost 3AM and I still can't sleep. Just watching the program "conviction" hoping that sleep will come by me. One of the scenes showed a grieving mother and I thought of my Mama. I felt nostalgic and sad instantly.

She died 10 years ago of breast cancer--terminal. A few years back, maybe on the 5th year of her death I still felt and thought that she was just away for a vacation. I still felt that any moment she'll stroll into our sala with the grocery bag--with her disheveled hair, asking if Papa's home already. I miss her.

I sometimes feel guilty and sad that as years pass by I'm slowly forgetting how she looked--maybe even, how she was as our mother. I cry whenever these thoughts some. It makes me feel like a bad daughter--exactly how I feel now.

Just sharing.