DREAMS: rational or irrational
I'm going home in about two weeks to visit my family and specially my grandmother. My Dad and aunties think that it would be soon that she'll...
I recall about a few weeks ago, I dreamt that Mama and Nanay (my grandma) were sleeping together in the couch. My Mama was humming or patting her to sleep. My Mama died 9 years ago of Breast Cancer. Being a occassional-superstitious individual, as soon as I woke up, I cried. I got worried but more sad that my irrational thoughts might be rational...sooner.
You see, for a few months now, my Nanay has been bed-ridden. Hasn't been herself lately. I mean, usually when one of her children or grandkids visit her, she'll be all over them (us). She'll grab us by one arm and do her repetitive questions. While, we wait and pray for her to beckon for another grandchild. But now, she just stays in bed quiet; non-chalant of whoever comes in to kiss her. She'll just mumble something then doze off.
I texted my little sister (and beinh quite a blabbermouth), she told my Dad and my very religious and all-too-superstitious aunt about it. Thus, making them worry.
They say and I've read that dreams are ways to 'share' the news or what future beholds by are loved-ones who passed away. And for the past few years, rarely have I dreamed of Mama. Could it be true?
I have never really entertained the thought of living without my grandmother. Eversince, I had this concept that she'll always be there when I have my kids, then my grandkids, and so on...
Now, it scares me to the bone thinking that I really might lose and not see her ever again.
***
I have been living in Metro Manila for more than a year now. I like it here but i don't like the part of gaining wait while liking living here.
I have gained 20 pounds or even more since I've been here and I don't like it at all. Not only that, it's been harder for me to shed the pounds off (it was easy to do so when I was still living in Cebu)--or maybe I'm just too old already and reached the point where a surgical intervention is the only way to lose them. Methinks--NOT!
Medically, I am 'over the ideal weight for my height & age'--it sounds terrible saying the shortcut. Overweight.
I recall about a few weeks ago, I dreamt that Mama and Nanay (my grandma) were sleeping together in the couch. My Mama was humming or patting her to sleep. My Mama died 9 years ago of Breast Cancer. Being a occassional-superstitious individual, as soon as I woke up, I cried. I got worried but more sad that my irrational thoughts might be rational...sooner.
You see, for a few months now, my Nanay has been bed-ridden. Hasn't been herself lately. I mean, usually when one of her children or grandkids visit her, she'll be all over them (us). She'll grab us by one arm and do her repetitive questions. While, we wait and pray for her to beckon for another grandchild. But now, she just stays in bed quiet; non-chalant of whoever comes in to kiss her. She'll just mumble something then doze off.
I texted my little sister (and beinh quite a blabbermouth), she told my Dad and my very religious and all-too-superstitious aunt about it. Thus, making them worry.
They say and I've read that dreams are ways to 'share' the news or what future beholds by are loved-ones who passed away. And for the past few years, rarely have I dreamed of Mama. Could it be true?
I have never really entertained the thought of living without my grandmother. Eversince, I had this concept that she'll always be there when I have my kids, then my grandkids, and so on...
Now, it scares me to the bone thinking that I really might lose and not see her ever again.
***
I have been living in Metro Manila for more than a year now. I like it here but i don't like the part of gaining wait while liking living here.
I have gained 20 pounds or even more since I've been here and I don't like it at all. Not only that, it's been harder for me to shed the pounds off (it was easy to do so when I was still living in Cebu)--or maybe I'm just too old already and reached the point where a surgical intervention is the only way to lose them. Methinks--NOT!
Medically, I am 'over the ideal weight for my height & age'--it sounds terrible saying the shortcut. Overweight.
posted by Biankeeta at 1:39 PM
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